Feels Like Home yet it Can't be
by lunequireve
Summary: "Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing: a time for silence, a time to let go and allow them to hurl themselves towards their own destiny, and a time to pick up the pieces when it's all over." They were never supposed to meet; Natasha from one place and time and Steve from another yet they did and in that moment everything changed. 1940's AU


**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything that is recognizable. There are, and there will be quite a few quotes for Captain America: The First Avenger throughout this story and I most certainly do not own them. Nor do I own the quote in the summary. I tweaked it a bit to have it best fit the plot but the lovely original quote belongs to the wonderful Octavia Butler. I do, on the other hand, own all of the mistakes that can be found. Sorry!

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"Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief." – Marcus Tullius Cicero

June 14, 1943: Steve 24, Natasha 10

Her eyes darted back and forth taking in her surroundings. Good. No one was paying any attention to the little red headed girl alone in the park. But then again, no one ever did. It was the greatest weapon after all – being underestimated. She quietly raced from one tree to the next, peaking her head out just far enough from behind the trunk to make sure he hadn't heard or seen her. She'd have him this time! She could see him, sitting on the bench, hunched over – a notepad on his lap and a graphite pencil in his hand – quickly sketching something only he could see. Oh, he was such an easy mark! She giggled a little to herself. He'd never even hear her coming.

She ran to the last tree just behind him and hid once more. Without even checking on him again, she could picture him looking around, the hairs on the back on his neck telling him something wasn't right, but figuring it was a bird taking flight or a leaf being carried off by the wind he'd ignore it and go on sketching. She shook her head at him, pursing her lips like her teachers always did when she or one of the other girls would do something "wrong". Oh, he should learn to be more careful. But it was his mistake and he'd have to pay for it. She silently tiptoed her way until she stood directly behind him, his back completely unprotected, his neck wide open, and her favorite target – his shoulders – the perfect place to land her hit. It would be an easy kill. But she'd give him a chance, she always did. If he turned around and caught her, she'd let him go, but if he didn't well, she'd go home with a positive report. Not that she had ever gone home without a positive report, but everyone deserved a chance, didn't they?

She stood, as quiet as a mouse, her hands clasped behind her back, rocking on her feet, back to her heels, up on the balls of her feet, her toes helping her to balance. One day she'd learn how to stand on her toes and dance pointe like all the lovely ballerinas, but today was not that day. Один, два, три*. She counted to ten and then she pounced – her tiny yet deadly hands going for his shoulders.

"Hi Steve!" She exclaimed as she jumped on him, pushing herself off his shoulders and propelling herself into the air, landing a few feet behind him. She had thought about attempting a backflip, but considering what she was wearing had decided that perhaps it wasn't the best idea.

He started and fell off the bench he had been sitting on, his notepad flying one direction and his pencil the other way. "Tasha! What are you doing?" He asked as he picked himself off the ground and proceeded (attempted) to dust off his pants and shirt.

"Well, I came to see you, but if you're too busy, I'll just leave." She answered as she darted about picking up the pad and pencil and handed them to him with the most innocent look on her face, her emerald eyes staring up at him, shining in the sunlight.

Steve sighed and murmured "Oh Tasha" before accepting the proffered gifts and sweeping her onto his lap.

"Hi Steve." She whispered throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him, her red hair tickling his neck. "What were you doing?"

He smiled into her crimson locks, "Well I was drawing until a certain somebody came and scared me."

"But I do that all the time Steve." She giggled. "You should be used to it by now."

He shook his head, "I don't think anyone gets used to the feeling of somebody sneaking up and jumping on them, Tasha. Just promise to be careful if you do that to someone else, okay? I don't want you to get hurt."

"Oh Steve, you worry too much. But if it makes you feel better, I'll be careful. Now really, what were you doing because," she reached over and picked up the sketchpad and pencil he had placed beside him on the bench, "this looks like something even I could draw. See?" She held up the pad on which she had produced an exact replica of his drawing. "And you and I both know that I'm not the best artist in the world. So what were you really doing Steve?" She asked, looking up at him, her emerald eyes now shimmering.

"Well," Steve began to explain looking for the words to best explain wha he had done while at the same time keeping them vague enough to not upset the little girl on his lap. Unfortunately, before he could say anything else he was cut off by a very angry 10 year old.

"No!" Natasha jumped off his lap and glared at him, her hands on her hips. "Steve you didn't. You said you wouldn't. Not again. Not after last time. That," she gestured widely with one hand, "that's real. It's not something made up or a game. It's not a movie or a story in a book. People die, are capture, or get lost and never come home again." She furiously wiped away the traitorous tear that had begun to fall. "Please Steve, I don't want to loose you too."

"Tasha, you're not going to loose either of us. We'll always be here, I promise. And if I end up going, which isn't very likely, I promise that the moment I'm done, I'll come back and we'll get ice cream, just like always. But you'll have to be there, okay?" He pulled her into a tight hug for while he was definitely smaller than most men, she was even tinier. However, as tightly as he was holding her he could still feel her nod in agreement that she would be there. "Now, enough about that. How about we go see a movie instead?"

"Steve Rogers givin' up the perfect day to sketch to go see a movie with little old me?" Natasha quipped fluttering her eyes slightly and taking on the accent of one the numerous girls she and Bucky had tried to set him up with. "Why I'm flatter'd Mr. Rogers." She teased him causing his face to flush red.

Seeing that she dropped the act, "Steve, if Bucky and I are ever going to find you someone, you can't blush like that if someone gives you a complement. It just won't work." She sighed a long suffering sigh.

"Tasha," he corrected her, "I don't need anything more than you and Bucky."

"Except to get into the army." Natasha added causing the mood to deflate slightly. "One day you'll find someone Steve. I don't doubt that, and she'll be perfect for you." She smiled at him, the sunlight just so that she appeared years older and then as quickly as the older her had "appeared" she disappeared and the little girl she was at that moment reappeared. "Can we watch the cartoons, Steve? Please!"

"If that's what you want." He agreed but at the same time wondered how she had gotten so wise. _They_ must have been talking, he decided.

She giggled and clasped her hands. "Oh, this is going to be so much fun! Come on Steve, we don't want to be late!"

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_War continues to ravage Europe. But help is on the way. Every able bodied young man is lining up to serve his country. Even little Timmy is doing his part collecting scrap metal. Nice work Timmy!_

"Who cares! Play the movie already." An impatient voice called over the newsreel.

"Hey want to show some respect?" Steve whispered so softly that only Natasha could hear him.

"Steve." Natasha looked over at him but he just shrugged. He thought that if he couldn't fight in the war, he could at least defend those who were fighting.

_… That the price of freedom is never too high. _

"Let's go, get on with it. Hey just start the cartoon." The same irritatingly impatient voice yelled again this time with more force.

"Steve." Natasha could sense he was going to do something and she had to stop him before he got himself hurt, again. She put her hand on his arm. "Please don't. It's okay. Just let him say what he wants to. Better here than out there."

"Sorry Tasha." He whispered as he shrugged her hand off his arm and turned around. "Hey you want to shut up?"

Natasha watched as a man at least twice Steve's size stood up and turned to face them. "Oh Steve." She whispered as she slid out of her seat and ran out of the theater. She knew what was coming next and had to find Bucky before Steve got too hurt. "Please don't get punched too many times this time." She wished as she raced up and down the streets of Brooklyn looking for Bucky. Steve would listen to him, hopefully, and at least her training was proving useful for something.

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"You don't know when to give up do you?" Natasha watched from around the corner as that awful man punched Steve yet again in the face. How she wanted to step in and stop him herself, but she knew she couldn't do that. _Come on Bucky, walk faster! Please! We weren't that far away, you should be here by now._ She thought as Steve told the man he could do that all day. She cringed as he got hit once more and was just about to step in and finish the fight herself when,

"Hey you wanna pick on someone your own size?"

Bucky. Natasha flew from behind the wall and over to Steve as Bucky scared off the bully.

"Are you alright Steve?" She handed him a white handkerchief and then threw herself at Steve. "I was so worried you'd get hurt."

Bucky watched the two of them happy that Steve was okay. "Sometime Tasha, I think he just likes getting punched."

"Bucky!" Natasha glared up at him, as only a 10 year old could do, as Steve protested that he had "had the bully."

Natasha shook her head, her twin braids flying around her face as she did. "I'll be back. Don't get yourself into any more trouble, please?" She asked them but they only grinned at her in return. "Boys." She huffed as she walked out of the alley.

Bucky turned to Steve as they watched her march off with righteous anger. "Was she always that affirmative?" He asked slightly confused. "I mean it's been a while since we've seen _that_ Tasha, but was she always like that?"

"That's Tasha for you," Steve shrugged "and I'm fairly certain she has always been like that." He added as he attempted to straighten up his outfit for the second time that day.

"So you're from Paramus now?" Bucky asked as he stared at the form he had picked up and smartly hidden from Natasha. "You know it's illegal to lie on your enlistment form. What would Tasha say?"

"Don't Bucky." Steve snatched the form back and hid it in his pocket. "She already told what she thought."

"And she's right Steve." Bucky told him. "You're lucky Tasha got me in time."

"I had him on the ropes." Steve protested and at the look Bucky gave him added. "I did. I could have handled him by myself you know."

Bucky just rolled his eyes. "Come on Punk. We've got to get you cleaned up and find Tasha and get her ready." At Steve's questioning look he explained with a mischievous glint in his eye and grin on his face, "We're off to see the future."

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*****one, two, three

**AN**: I've been playing with the story for a while and decided now was as good a time as ever to share it. (Also a great way to procrastinate studying for finals. :) ) This is definitely AU, but the AU material should fit in nicely with the cannon CA MCU at least for the beginning few chapters. After that, well it may deviate a bit. I've tried to hint as to how Natasha can be in 1943 New York City, but that should be cleared up within a few chapters. That said, I'd love to hear your thoughts about it! I'm also going to try my best to keep the characters away from becoming OOC, but I do know that at points they may becoming slightly OOC. Sorry for such a long AN and thank you for reading this. I hope you enjoyed this first chapter and have/had a wonderful day! :)


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